There’s gotta be something better than this 75 year old book!

Is there a modern equivalent to Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends & Influence People? I mean, c’mon, it was published way back in 1936. They barely had cars, electricity or TV back then. Heck, the era that AMC’s Mad Men portrays hadn’t even happened yet. There was no Internet, no e-commerce, no social media in 1936.

The World has changed. Somebody else must have written something better than Carnegie’s classic in the last 75 years! So, I posed this question on LinkedIn in October 2011 and received some great feedback. By the way, the following list is not in any particular order of goodness.

  1. Book: Everyone Communicates, Few Connect: What the Most Effective People Do Differently

    Author: John C. Maxwell
    Recommended by: Kevin Hrim
  2. Book: Getting Naked: A Business Fable About Shedding The Three Fears That Sabotage Client Loyalty

    Author: Patrick Lencioni
    Author’s Website: http://www.tablegroup.com/
    Recommended by: Kevin Hrim
  3. Book: How to Win Friends and Influence People in the Digital Age(Oct 4, 2011)

    Author: Dale Carnegie
    Recommended by: Todd South
  4. Book: Enchantment: The Art of Changing Hearts, Minds, and Actions

    Author: Guy Kawasaki
    Testimonial: “The best overall treatise on interpersonal relationships since Dale Carnegie wrote How to Win Friends and Influence People.” – Michael Gartenberg, Research Director, Gartner
    Recommended by: Hillary Schieve
  5. Book: Influence: Science and Practice

    Author: Robert Cialdini
    Author’s Website: http://www.influenceatwork.com/
    Recommended by: Francesco Ferzini
  6. Book: Winning with People: Discover the People Principles that Work for You Every Time

    Author: John C. Maxwell
    Recommended by: Bill Martin
  7. Book: The Success Principles: How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be

    Author: Jack Canfield
    Book’s Website: http://www.thesuccessprinciples.com/
    Recommended by: Clay Hall
  8. Book: Start with Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action

    Author: Simon Sinek
    Authors’s Website: http://www.startwithwhy.com/
    TED Conference: Video
    Recommended, independently, by: Alice Heiman and John Bankhead
    Alice’s comment: I recommend the How to Win Friends & Influence People book to all the young people I mentor and the college students I teach. I don’t know of anything new with the same message, but I do love the book Start With Why by Simon Sinek and have been sending that out to all my CEOs.
  9. Book: Never Eat Alone: And Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a Time

    Author: Keith Ferrazzi
    Recommended by: Oliver Lee Mincey
    Oliver’s comment: I enjoyed the book. Not quite Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends, but it does have some good nuggets.
  10. Book: Engage: The Complete Guide for Brands and Businesses to Build, Cultivate, and Measure Success in the New Web

    Author: Brian Solis
    Recommended by: Felipe Huicochea
  11. Book: Trust Agents: Using the Web to Build Influence, Improve Reputation, and Earn Trust

    Authors: Chris Brogan & Julien Smith
    Recommended by: Felipe Huicochea
  12. Book: You Can’t Teach a Kid to Ride a Bike at a Seminar: The Sandler Sales Institute’s 7-Step System for Successful Selling

    Author: David H. Sandler
    Recommended by: Luke Davies

While everybody recommended an alternative, almost everybody agreed that Carnegie’s How to Win Friends was still the timeless gold standard.

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Help me change my flat tire – How business can kick ass with Twitter!

Don’t bombard me with a “Four tires for the price of three” sale.
Find me on the side of the road and help me change my flat tire!

  • Old, status quo marketing: “Here’s my stuff. Buy my stuff!”
  • New, cool-kid marketing: “Here’s an exact solution to your exact problem!”

Here’s how to make your company, product, service kick ass with Twitter!

The perfect example:

On Tuesday, Nov 15, 2011, I Tweeted that I had shared a couple of WordPress e-commerce alternatives with a client:

Twitter: Trouble shooting WordPress shopping cart plugin w/ client; and looking at WP e-commerce plugin alternatives.

Five minutes later @Cart66 (a WordPress e-commerce plugin developer) replied to my Tweet with the following message:

Twitter for business example. @ReidWalley Have you looked at cart66.com for #wordpress #ecommerce? Let me know if you have any questions.

Cart66 was on the ball. They offered a specific solution to my specific circumstance and they offered to answer any questions. They replied to me in 5 minutes… 5 minutes! Dude, that’s fast! And because they answered so quickly the topic was still fresh in my mind. I have to admit I was really surprised at how quickly anybody* replied.

They weren’t selling, they were solving. And that kicks ass!

Use Twitter’s search engine http://twitter.com/search to find your industry’s problems – and solve them. Never before in the history of marketing and advertising has any company been able to know – in real time – what customers are actually freaking out about. Twitter allows you to search your industry, as well as existing and potential clients, and offer assistance!

Find me on the side of the road and help me change my flat tire!

*By the way, @Cart66 was the only WordPress e-commerce plugin developer that replied.


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Testimonial – Jeanine Calandri

“As always, I enjoy our humorous and “productive” meetings together.  I want you to know how much I appreciate the way you not only “listen,” but you “hear” what I’m saying to you. You have a way of processing quickly and giving phenomenal insights.

“I always feel enriched and re-energized after our meetings. You help me see things from a different perspective and push me to step out of the box a bit.

“There are many potential distractions during our public meetings (ie. gorgeous women walking about;) however, you remain focused on our time together. I respect and appreciate that about you!”

Jeanine Calandri
Retirement plan and asset management consulting
Sacramento, CA
Nov. 12, 2011

Iraq War Veteran, PTSD, Toastmasters and Hope

War Veteran, Amber Forest, served in the Army in Iraq. She returned a very different, difficult and depressed person. She lost her job and then her house – and ended up homeless for 10 months during the winter in Colorado.

Then somebody mentioned that she might have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and recommended that she visit the VA Hospital. She went. And now she’s way up on the upside of all the hell that is PTSD.

PTSD was the topic of Amber’s speech Monday evening (Nov 7, 2011) at our Capital City Toastmasters meeting in Sacramento. It was her Ice Breaker, which is the very first speech that anybody gives. It was amazing! The best I’ve ever heard in the 2 years that I’ve been a Toastmaster.

Her story about working through PTSD is the sole reason that Amber joined Toastmasters – to get her story of hope out to the world.

Amber stood in front of us and presented her speech with such conviction, honesty, humility and proof-of-hope. I was her speech evaluator, and I got to mention that she presented the best Ice Breaker I’d ever heard! And nothing in her speech was over-dramatic, hyped up or depressing. It was simply the truth about war, combat Veterans, PTSD and hope.

Amber shared all the facts and symptoms of PTSD. And she shared some of the triggers that set off debilitating flashbacks – hers is the sound of helicopters. She also mentioned that as she was spiraling out of control, she had no idea what was actually going wrong with her. It took an outside observer to suggest that she might be suffering from PTSD and that she should visit the VA Hospital.

Toastmasters is part of her recovery. Not for PTSD itself, but for spreading the message of hope to other soldiers. Amber has fought in Iraq, suffered the symptoms and the triggers, been homeless – and is now high up on the making-it-back side of life! She’s living proof that actually getting help and getting a proper diagnosis really works.

Amber’s Toastmasters speech was solid, factual and an easy-to-follow recipe for all Veterans who find themselves losing their job, their family, their home and their life.

After Amber’s speech, everybody replied how motivational it was. And it was. But it wasn’t rah-rah, you-can-do-it, go-get’em kinda stuff. It was straight from the battlefield, straight from the heart, and the steps that actually worked for her. It was an autobiography with a purpose, a plan and a path out of misery.

“I’m sorry, what?” asked the distracted Wells Fargo cashier

All 4 Wells Fargo cashiers were immersed in a group conversation about Facebook and the weekend’s party when I walked in. And they continued with their group chat while I was standing at the window, looking directly at one of the cashiers, explaining that I wanted to withdraw some cash.

Nobody said hello. Nobody acknowledged I was at the window explaining what I wanted. So I just kept explaining what I wanted, out loud, to the cashier – who wasn’t paying attention to me at all. “I’m sorry, what?” asked the distracted Wells Fargo cashier. During our entire transaction she had her head turned toward her co-worker’s, engaged in “their” conversation and didn’t engage me at all. It was nuts. I guess she doesn’t need her job. I guess Wells Fargo doesn’t give a damn.

Gary Vaynerchuk recently mentioned in his Inc 500 Conference keynote that “We are at the dawn of doing 1-on-1 marketing!” I was definitely second-place with this Wells Fargo cashier.

Wells Fargo’s 1-on-1 marketing sucks!