Asshole for an ex-spouse? Then why did you marry them?
It’s like going to the toy store and purposefully buying a defective toy and then complaining that it’s broken. You picked it. Why?
I get along really well with my amazing ex-wife, Lisa. It took some doing on both our parts: I apologized for being an asshole when we were married and so did she. Over the years we’ve actually become good friends – something that never existed when we were married. But there are also healthy & unhealthy boundaries in our lives and if an ex-spouse, boss, co-worker, parent, friend is asking for something that’s inappropriate, insincere or just plain manipulative bullshit, then it’s good to say “no” – regardless of how upset they get.
When I got married, I had NO IDEA what the hell I was doing! I went to college for a bunch of years, read a bunch of books and took a ton of tests – but I never learned how to have a successful marriage. There aren’t any college courses in “successful marriage,” and there should have been. I had no tools, no training and a complete delusional sense that it would all just work out – it did, in divorce.
We gotta take marriage just as seriously as we take getting a degree. How many books have you and your spouse read that focuses on a successful marriage? How many tests have you passed with at least a “C” that tested your knowledge about how to have a successful marriage? My guess is NONE!
Stop dating, having sex with, and marrying people that you know are defective! At least stop whining about your spouse being broken when you knew they were defective before you married them.