Toastmasters Public Speaking Takeaways for Dec 2019

  • Each speech does not have to be perfect. You can mess up your next speech too. Your speaking path is an arc of fumbles that leads to self-confidence.
  • When it comes to practicing public speaking in front of your Toastmasters club, feeling the feeling of feeling awkward is your goal.
  • Flip the script on your fear of being judged by your audience. Let judgement happen.

A 2nd Chance To Make A 1st Impression

Didn’t know how to “Be Yourself” around Becky Hernandez, the first girl I fell in love with in 7th grade. So I blew it!

Then 40 years later I found her on Facebook, and it was like the Universe was giving me a 2nd chance to do it right.

But 40 years changes a person. I was no longer that googly-eyed 13-year-old that could barely say hello to her. And thank goodness, because he was blinded by love and it took him a loooooooong time to see she just wasn’t into him.

And now we’re friends on Facebook, and I get to be the “Be Yourself” that I am today: friendly and supportive.

Confidence Workshop – P2O Hot Pilates – Sept 22, 2018

Big thanks to Lindy Hobbs, co-owner of P2O Hot Pilates & Fitness, for a 3rd-year invite to teach a Confidence Workshop module during her Pilates Teacher Training intensive!

“I can sense when a Pilates instructor is confident or not confident just by the way they present themselves, and how they speak.” – Melody, Sept 22, 2018 workshop participant

Learn more about my 2-hour Confidence Workshop for your Pilates instructors


Learn more about my 2-hour Confidence Workshop for your Pilates instructors

Reid Walley leading Public Speaking & Confidence Workshop with Resident at UC Davis Chapter Association of Women Surgeons. UC Davis Comprehensive Cancer Center, Sacramento, CA. Aug 2, 2018. Photo by Dr Amanda Kirane.

Confidence Workshop – UC Davis Chapter Association of Women Surgeons

A big thanks to Dr. Amanda Kirane for inviting me to present a hands-on bootcamp-style Public Speaking & Confidence Workshop for her UC Davis General Surgery Residents at their UC Davis Chapter’s Association of Women Surgeons (AWS) meeting. Location: UC Davis Comprehensive Cancer Center, Sacramento, CA. Date: Aug 2, 2018.

UC Davis Chapter Association of Women Surgeons (AWS) members, after Reid Walley’s Confidence Workshop.

Reid Walley on stage with Resident - UC Davis Chapter Association of Women Surgeons - Photo credit Dr Amanda Kirane - Aug 2 2018
Reid Walley leading Confidence Workshop with UC Davis Association of Women Surgeons Resident. Photo: Dr. Amanda Kirane.

UC Davis AWS meeting Aug 2, 2018

Confidence Has A Recipe

Confidence has a LOOK, a SOUND, a PACE, a certain LACK OF APOLOGY.

LOOK

Confidence has a look, a stance, a profile, a posture. Sit up straight – no slouching; no hunching over. And confidence makes eye contact!

“Perhaps the most important physical act onstage is making eye contact.”
– Chris Anderson, TED Talk conference curator (source: Harvard Business Review)

Good eye contact makes your audience think you’re a badass!

SOUND

Confidence has a sound, a volume, a projection, a diction. Confidence speaks clearly and does not mumble. Confidence can be heard by everyone in the room.

PACE

Confidence has a pace, a pause, a speaking rate. Confidence gives the audience time to settle-in before speaking.

LACK OF APOLOGY

Confidence makes a statement, it does not ask for permission or approval. Confidence does not ask a question. Confidence does not add an “OK?” at the end of a statement!

SECRET SAUCE

Confidence does not get flustered!

What The Hell Does “Fake It ‘Til You Make It” Mean, Anyway?

You take action – even when you’re not ready!

You take action – even when you’re scared shitless!

You take action – even when you do NOT have all of your ducks in a row!

You take action – even when you’re not sure of the outcome!

“Fake It ‘Til You Make It” is facing your fear by taking the action that you’re afraid of taking!

My friend Shelly points out a really dishonest aspect of Fake It ‘Til You Make It (FITYMI) that she sees in her Human Resources career: candidates LYING on their resumes!

Lying is fucking bullshit!

“‘Fake it til you make it’ means nothing.” Hear this in Gary Vaynerchuk’s own words!

And I 100% agree with this from Gary, because the context that I just heard him talk about it on Twitter was “buying Supreme clothing for $400 so you can empress other people – that you don’t even like – is bullshit.”

Pretending you’re rich, when you’re not, is fake. Renting a fancy car to impress others is fake. Padding your job resume with abilities you do not have is fake.

What’s my FITYMI Remix

The Reid Walley remix of “Fake It ‘Til You Make It” (FITYMI) is: “facing your fears of making a mistake in front of others – and still taking action.”

A definition from Wikipedia: The phrase “fake it till you make it” is similar in meaning to the idiom “act as if.”

Fake It Til You Make It is a psychology mindset. Your internal dialog forces your body to generate an external behavior (smile, slow down your speaking pace, pause, breathe, sit up straight) – even though your knees are wobbly, your hands are sweaty, your face is flush, and your stomach is full of butterflies! Your mentally forcing youself to take an action that you’re afraid to take! You are literally FAKING your way through 5 minutes of a speech, or 20 of pitching your startup, or 30 mins of a job interview – when all you want to do is not show up, or freak out, or hyperventilate, or throw up.

Fake It Til You Make It is the internal mindset of remote-controlling your external body language.

 

Speaking to Win: A Panel of Champions

Had an AWESOME time answering audience member’s questions and hearing my fellow panelist’s insightful answers at the 2017 Toastmasters District 39 Fall Conference Speaking to Win: A Panel of Champions Educational Session.


Panel speakers: Keerthi Karnati, Donnie Crandell, Jeffrey Purtee, Reid Walley, John Davis
Moderator: David Goad
Conference: Toastmasters 2017 District 39 Fall Conference
Event: Educational Session
Location: Hard Rock Hotel & Casino Lake Tahoe, Stateline, CA
Date: November 11, 2017

Speaking to Win - A Panel of Champions - 2017 Toastmasters District 39 Fall Conference
Reid Walley - Toastmasters 2017 District 39 Fall Conf - Speaking to Win Panel - Pic 1
Reid Walley - Toastmasters 2017 District 39 Fall Conf - Speaking to Win Panel - Pic 2

Confidence Training for Pilates Instructors

P2O Hot Pilates & Fitness co-founder Lindy Hobbs made a very smart business decision when she expanded her business: include public speaking & confidence training as part of her Pilates Instructor training curriculum.

Lindy understood the power of Toastmasters‘s public speaking training and wanted to offer that confidence to her future Pilates Instructors. She contacted Capital City Toastmasters in 2015 – and I’ve been leading her Pilates Instructors through a 2-hour hands-on public speaking workshop twice a year ever since.

“Reid is entertaining and does a great job at helping bring our future Instructors out of their shell, and feel more comfortable speaking and expressing themselves in front of a group. Reid has been a great addition to our Teacher Training program!” – Lindy Hobbs

A common question from previous workshops bubbled to the surface during our most recent workshop:

“How do I overcome beating myself up when I make a mistake?”

And we generated an answer:

“Instead of wasting 5 hours beating yourself up over the mistake, the technique we came up with was to go home and spend that time physically writing down the solution for next time. Then standing and physically practicing the solution out loud. And the mantra is to replace the ‘I feel crushed’ with ‘be better next time.'”

If you’d like to empower your Pilates Instructors with more confidence in front of their students, add my 2-hour hands-on Public Speaking & Confidence Workshop to your instructor training. Hit me up.

Public Speaking & Confidence Workshop for P2O Hot Pilates & Fitness Pilates Instructors - Oct 14 2017 - 01 Public Speaking & Confidence Workshop for P2O Hot Pilates & Fitness Pilates Instructors - Oct 14 2017 - 02