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Life coaching – Expectations, Boundaries, Character

Expectations have nothing to do with your Mac booting up or not, or your significant other being honest or not. Expectations have no effect on either of those outcomes. A person’s integrity has nothing to do with your expectations of them having integrity.

Boundaries, not expectations, are what need to be set in a relationship, whether it’s with a significant other, spouse, co-worker, boss, roommate, friend, parent, child. The beauty of boundaries is that they’re measurable. Boundaries are how you can tell if a person has character. A person’s character can be analyzed by their boundaries – whether they respect their own boundaries, as well as yours. Character is at the heart of happiness – your own character and the character of others. And investigating your character, as well as others, is a key to success. Character can only be seen over time, and measured through boundaries.

If one of the saddest days of your life was realizing that you had no expectations of anyone other than yourself, then there were no proper boundaries in place. If you expect somebody to follow through with something and they don’t, and you don’t change your relationship with them after that, then there were no proper boundaries to begin with. Accept the way a person is (absence of expectations) and adjust accordingly (boundary analysis). You should always have your own boundaries for what you will and will not accept. After that, you will know how to respond when the moment arrives. Expectation does not change the outcome, but you can always change how you respond to it.

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