Principle 7: Don't Play Fair

More and more people I know are raving about Principle 7, “Don’t Play Fair,” from “9 Things You Simply Must Do To Succeed In Love and Life” by Dr. Henry Cloud.

Excerpts from the opening paragraphs of Principle 7:

“In your opinion, what is the formula for destroying relationships? How do you do that? What are some ways that you have destroyed relationships?”

Here’s all you have to do to ruin every relationship in your life: Play fair. If you play fair, you will ruin all of them. Some may go pretty quickly, others may take longer. But in the end, you will succeed. Play fair and all your relationships will be ruined.”


She passively blamed her single status entirely on God

Excerpt from: “9 Things You Simply Must Do – to Succeed in Love and Life” by Dr. Henry Cloud

I have seen lives transformed when people begin to adopt the strategy of asking themselves, What can I do to make this better?

Miracles have occurred. I recently attended the wedding of a woman who had complained to me a couple of years ago saying, “I wish I were married, but God just has not chosen that for me at this point in my life.”

She passively blamed her single status entirely on God. It never occurred to her that she might do something to help him.

I challenged this woman to take responsibility and be proactive. God would help her, but she needed to give him a little cooperation.

Here is the exciting fact: she had been stagnant in her dating life for longer than it took to get moving and get married.

Personal life coach – Saying No: “Mean” or “Meaningful”?

Life Coaching: There’s a “mean” way – and a “meaningful” way – of saying no. One is derogatory; the other is life affirming.

A “mean” no is probably not the truth. Whereas a “meaningful” no can be transformative, balanced, Zen. It’s a no that means the request doesn’t align with your life’s plan/path. The no itself can be a sharing of your life’s plan/path with the requester. Imagine a request from a stranger that you answer with your Zen approach to life. Your no is quite literally your life-affirming answer to life – your life.

I highly recommend “Boundaries,” by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend.