BAAT – Breathing As A Tool

Actionable takeaway from the Dec 8, 2018 Confidence Workshop for Pilates Instructors at P2O Hot Pilates & Fitness in Sacramento, CA:

Breathing As A Tool

Purposeful breathing is a deliberate action (a tool) used to clarify and refocus your mind when you, the Pilates Instructor, get off track in the middle of guiding your Hot Pilates class filled with beaming souls.

Breathing As A Tool - Purposeful breathing is a deliberate action (a tool) used to clarify and refocus your mind when you, the Pilates Instructor, get off track in the middle of guiding your Hot Pilates class filled with beaming souls.

What The Hell Does “Fake It ‘Til You Make It” Mean, Anyway?

You take action – even when you’re not ready!

You take action – even when you’re scared shitless!

You take action – even when you do NOT have all of your ducks in a row!

You take action – even when you’re not sure of the outcome!

“Fake It ‘Til You Make It” is facing your fear by taking the action that you’re afraid of taking!

My friend Shelly points out a really dishonest aspect of Fake It ‘Til You Make It (FITYMI) that she sees in her Human Resources career: candidates LYING on their resumes!

Lying is fucking bullshit!

“‘Fake it til you make it’ means nothing.” Hear this in Gary Vaynerchuk’s own words!

And I 100% agree with this from Gary, because the context that I just heard him talk about it on Twitter was “buying Supreme clothing for $400 so you can empress other people – that you don’t even like – is bullshit.”

Pretending you’re rich, when you’re not, is fake. Renting a fancy car to impress others is fake. Padding your job resume with abilities you do not have is fake.

What’s my FITYMI Remix

The Reid Walley remix of “Fake It ‘Til You Make It” (FITYMI) is: “facing your fears of making a mistake in front of others – and still taking action.”

A definition from Wikipedia: The phrase “fake it till you make it” is similar in meaning to the idiom “act as if.”

Fake It Til You Make It is a psychology mindset. Your internal dialog forces your body to generate an external behavior (smile, slow down your speaking pace, pause, breathe, sit up straight) – even though your knees are wobbly, your hands are sweaty, your face is flush, and your stomach is full of butterflies! Your mentally forcing youself to take an action that you’re afraid to take! You are literally FAKING your way through 5 minutes of a speech, or 20 of pitching your startup, or 30 mins of a job interview – when all you want to do is not show up, or freak out, or hyperventilate, or throw up.

Fake It Til You Make It is the internal mindset of remote-controlling your external body language.

 

Losing vs Loser

Has your favorite sports team ever lost? Losing is part of the game. All hail the game!

I lost this weekend’s District 39 Toastmasters International speech contest at the District level (round 4 of 6). Didn’t even place. And when the top-three winner’s were announced, and I wasn’t one of them, I was immediately handed two options:

1. Bewildered

2. Be grateful

Rich Hopkins: “It’s ok to be both.”
Me: “As long as I firmly land on Be Grateful as soon as possible, then I can move forward with extreme freedom.”

John McCain: “In your opinion, what made the winning speech better?”
Me: “Keerthi Karnati‘s District-winning speech (at District 39’s 2017 Spring Conference) was simply a deeper, heart-felt, funny, scary, well-presented speech. And only Be Grateful allows me to see that clearly.”

Michael Stephens: “I don’t think it’s that you’ve “lost”; I just think it’s that someone else “won”… great job:)”
Me: “I firmly believe in meritocracy. I also believe in losing as a normal part of living – everyone should not get a trophy. That’s one thing I like about Toastmasters, there are clear distinctions between trophy and no trophy. Like winning, losing is equally a natural possible outcome of participating.”

Robin Robinson: “Next topic, sportsmanship and being a good player. Competing with dignity, and dealing with the outcome graciously, is a worthwhile skill. And you did that. Bravo.”
Me: “Sportsmanship is a big deal to me. I’m all for analysing my own loss, but pointing fingers is definitely not cool. So, yeah, sportsmanship has huge value.”

Losing vs Loser

Losing is part of honing one’s craft. The loser stops honing.

(To move forward) I must be willing to admit that I lost

I have to admit that I lost the speech contest in order to re-calculate my destination. Losing a speech contest and turning down the wrong street are the same. They both require self-realization and re-calculation. I feel a certain freedom when I look in the mirror and accept my loss. Owning it is liberating!